It's Alive!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok......not funny.....but if you''d a been walking in my shoes lately....well, no shoes, you're have questioned it. hehehehe This will be short and sweet as I'm so weak, I'm a weebles people. Maybe stronger tomorrow. Eric hooked me up with internet here at the hospital. I think I'm the only one who has it. hehehehe

No quotes, no goats, no jokes......maybe tomorrow.

Lori

OD on Basil?

Can you do that? I planted a bunch of basil this spring because I LOVE IT! On anything! So I'm setting goals for summer, and that's one of them. And riding on stupid electric carts in stores so I can graze through veggie depts., deli's, bakery depts. The plan is to get strong enough to walk on my own 2 legs through summer, but I'm losing interest in the skipping......

Everyone has a weird neighbor....mine is insane. hahahaha Really! But I'm pretty crazy, and have always gotten along with nuts. hahaha For some reason, he decided to quite mowing along our propery line in the back, some paranoid thing going on in his head, I guess. So I snuck out 2 weeks ago and planted some cosmos along that 4 foot area. Won't they be cool when they start to grow and bloom? They're so pretty. When your yard serves you lemons, plant cosmos. They're one of my favorite wild flowers!

Fuzzy Lori, the Basil Queen
Got any good recipes?
Send to my email address: Lambypie@aeroinc.net

It's not over til the fat lady dances!

Good G*D, who said that! hahahahaha But there seems to be a correlation.......But I can't dance....I can barely walk....hahahahaha As many have heard through almost everyone I know, it's come back to visit my liver. No pain! Just a little snowfall in my liver. I'm eating like a contented cow and they're getting my potassium somewhat under control so I can get some normalcy for a while. I will start a 2nd line chemo next Monday through Friday for a a week on, 2 weeks off, but will feel very fatigued, and hopeful NOT get sick to my stomach. I can stop at anytime, and will be in full control to handle pain and discomfort. I'm hoping all are notified so I don't have to describe it all again. We've been trying to answer phone calls with quiestions, but it can be stressful for both John and I as it sticks it in our face over and and over again. I know that is frustrating for well wishers,but truly, I'm resting in the hands of my Almighty and hoping that a relaxing summer of swinging in my swing, cuddling with my Big Boy, and perhaps riding on a little red scooter are still on the adjenda for summer. I'm alive, I'm smiling, and I'm planning breakfast as I type! hahahahaha

Lori

Raining.....

Nothing hard or frightful.....just enough to make everything smell cool. I'm still sitting on my b*tt, working on feeling better and jumping into summer. Just can't jump right now. But it's cool, I don't want to.....hahahaha

I know I have relatives, friends, coworkers who worry. I've got a great Dr. watching me and a Wonderful Husband and Sister who will keep everyone updated. When you see me on my red scooter, you'll forget all this drama and just start laughing! hahahahaha

No quotes today, just read some of the old ones that cover this. hehehe

Lori -- really wishing there was a nice big storm comin'. I love those things!

Okay.....time to get well!

So I'm still fighting infection, bugs, cans of worms.....one of those "trade-offs" was my immune system, unfortunately. Still working on getting myself well, but I have a "no plans" 3 day weekend to get well.

We ordered scooters!! 50cc, 108 miles to a gallon, gorgeous (John's is blue, mine is RED) scooters!!! John's is all ready here and plated, mine is coming in about a week! It was going to be a trip to Yellowstone National Park, but when gas prices spiked, it was a no brainer decision for us. Now this is exciting! Don't worry, pictures will be posted as soon as our butts hit those seats! hahahahaha

Lori -- who's vegging out the weekend sipping my Gatoraide

It's Good News Week......

Good test results and another 3 month ticket to ride! Yaaaaahoooooo!

Next Sunday will be my 1 year anniversary of my day I was diagnosed. Some call themselves "1 year survivors". But I've survived over 58 years that are full of exciting, dramatic, sometimes painful, but most times delightful times! There's many other memorable dates I'd rather remember, and I'm sure I have many more yet to create. So I've planted that "seed", and I'm focusing my thoughts back on the day at hand........and it's working....I'm actually getting good at it now....(wink)

"By being yourself, you put something wonderful
in the world that was not there before." -- Edwin Elliot

Oh, happy day.....
Lori S.

Soft, Cozy Rain....

It's early morning, and I'm sitting in pure bliss, listening to the soft rain patting on my roof. All my life, I've had this very difficult time really relaxing....sitting and doing nothing....not enjoying the passage of time and experiences that moment in time, just advancing myself mentally to the next phase. It's hard to put into words, but I know what I mean. After my experiences last summer, that's changed. It wasn't something I conciously did, it just happened....slowly, slowly, all by itself. I've also learned that pleasing others is not something I have time for anymore, That's a hard part for me, but it's getting easier. My perspective, prospects, view on my life aren't necessarily their's. I had this mind-set that after all treatment was done, I would just get back to my old life...step right in where I left off, for the sake of the people I loved, even more than myself. Don't get me wrong, I want to live til I'm old and grey.....well, not too old...hehehe But the thoughts that run through my head are not the same as others and I'm really at peace with that, no matter which way life takes me. Really!! But I now have limitations that I didn't have. Cancer treatments gave me a few new body challenges that I have to adjust my life too, but like my Dr. keeps telling me, it's all a trade-off and so well worth it. I'm here! I'm alive! I'm happy! There's not much to wish for after that!

Yesterday, I planted my herb bed......I was truly in Heaven. I huffed and puffed through the whole thing (felt like I was running a marathon!) Seems my lungs aren't what they used to be. Getting on my knees (and back up again) has become a new challenge but it gave me a good laugh everytime I saw my reflection in the window. hahaha We topped the day off with a cocktail and a lovely campfire. It was a day filled with moments that went nice and slow, and my mind never once flew forward to the "completion", like I used to do.....I like it here.

I love this one:
"The best kind of rain, of course, is a cozy rain. This is the kind the anonymous medieval poet makes me remember, the rain that falls on a day when you'd just as soon stay in bed a little longer, write letters or read a good book by the fire, take early tea with hot scones and jam and look out the streaked window with complacency." ~Susan Allen Toth, England For All Seasons

Live in a moment....find a good one and stay there for awhile.

Lori S.

Has it been a week???!!

I just checked the date of my last blog post. Okay, that's a good sign, means I'm busy and preoccupied with other "stuff". Good stuff! School has been busy and a bit stressful, as it's the end of a school year and there's things to catch up on and finish up. It's a time in special ed where the urge to "pull your hair out" (and you know that's not an option for me!) is uncontrollably strong! My solution? Everyday,last week, I took a "suprise" into work for the girls (co-workers, not students). Monday, it was little mini-Snicker bars.....Tuesday, it was my Wedding Picture Album (oh, Sue and Connie, you should SEE us!!! hahaha)........Wednesday, it was cabbage and apple salad I'd made to share at lunch.....Thursday, snap peas and dip to share with my friend. We would think of something GOOD about the day, instead of dwelling on the crappy stuff. Sounds simple enough, but often hard to do. But it's amazing how just one little, light hearted, uplifting "thought" can change your whole outlook on the day, the week..........and the rest of your life! Ask me how I know......

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." -- William James


Live in the moment!
Lori

Mysteries......

In that early time in the morning when I first wake up, but don't want to get up, my mind is busy thinking.....reliving my day at school, planning summer stuff, planning my grocery list. This morning, I was back in the 4th grade. I was remembering one of the biggest "mysteries" of my life (course I hadn't lived that long yet....). While playing outside, I found a robin's nest, complete with 3 unbroken eggs, that had dislodged and fallen from a tree. What a find! I picked it up and put it safely in a hole under our front porch. I checked it every 5 minutes, waiting for the eggs to hatch. Nothing happened. By the end of the day, I was getting worried about what would happen to my little nest during the night without my protection. I decided to take it into my room. Knowing my Mom would surely have issues with that decision, I hid it under my bed, setting it next to the front bedfoot, where I could peek down and see it when I needed to. The next morning, still there, no babies.......I don't know the duration of the timespan past that point. Probably, being a typical kid, I moved on and "forgot" it was there. I don't know, I can't remember. What I DO remember, is the miracle that transpired....well, miracle by my standards at the time hahaha. I peaked under my bed to the resting spot of my little nest, and low and behold! The nest was gone, and in it's place was a SKELETON KEY! Oh, my gosh! What could be better than a skeleton key? NOTHING! I quickly ran to all the doors in the house, trying to find a door it would actually lock. None. But I didn't care, it was fun to have a skeleton key and better than having a nest with eggs that wouldn't hatch! I wondered for years where it came from. My Mom wasn't the type that would have done that. She would have thrown it away....like most Moms, I suppose. But maybe she was the type.....maybe for a moment, she remembered that inocence of being a kid and the total exhileration a good miracle.....or mystery!....can give a kid.......... The only other explanation would be God........and we all know, miracles happen everyday with Him around......{wink}

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle.But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth.Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds,green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle" -- Thich Nhat Hanh

Living in the moment......and my own miracle!
Lori

NOT..........

Okay, so I thought the puzzle was solved....after 2 weeks of the weirdest of symptoms, I was finally diagnosed with SHINGLES!!!! Can you believe it?? Don't grandma's get that crap? ..........wait.......I am a grandma.......nevermind.

Well, I'm medicated and probably halfway through it, so time to move on and jump into Spring! I'm sitting here, listening to the birds, with every window in the house open! Don't you miss that in winter? Open windows! We've been tinkering in the yard......I say tinkering cus I was too lazy to actually work.....and slowly but surely, all residuals of winter are disappearing, including the heated bird bath.

I feel a renewed spirit........and blessed that I have shingles.

"If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. " ~Nadine Stair

Living in the moment.....but waiting patiently for the bumps to go away!
Lori

Resuming my regularly scheduled program......

Okay, the little "break" is over. Lab tests were normal and it's time to pick my wiggly self up and get back to work. So this will be short and sweet. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm fine! Really!

Live in the moment!
Lori

Rattled.....

I've been feeling..........well.......rattled this past weekend. I've been having trouble with fatigue and some dizziness, something I've been dealing with since my radiation ended. But this weekend, it seemed particularly bad and a bit scarey. I haven't been scared of anything since my chemo last year, so it's been very unnerving. I'm getting some labs done today to make sure everything is how it should be. I feel confident that this is not a breakdown of my body, or the cancer returning, but simply a breakdown of my "brave" personna I have grown comfortable wearing. It's time to puff up my chest, make loud posturing sounds, and get back into it...fearless!

Time to go over and visit my 85 year old Russian neighbor, who's returned from wintering in Alaska.......I know, strange, huh? She's a true sweetie and loves to drink a shot of vodka with me in her little etched shot glasses....that's what Russian's do. I'm going to pass on the shot....I already feel like I've had 3!......but enjoy a visit and look at her winter moose pictures.

Live in the moment!
Lori

BFF's...........UPDATED!

We called our Granddaughters last night and had a nice chat with each of them. What a delight. Katie, the youngest (almost 8) told me about her new Best Friend Olivia. She said they had a LOT in common.....they both have B-days in May, they both have Daddy's that live far away, they both sucked their thumbs, and.......they both fart a lot! She then broke out in a giggle that just melts my heart! Her Mom took her and Olivia to a movie together last weekend. They sat all cuddled together with a blanket...sucking their thumbs! Those are wonderful comparisons and the perfect glue to bond a wonderful, last-forever friendship, aren't they?

I stayed home from school today. I think a "bug" is passing through me. I'm hoping it's traveling on a freeway so it goes through quickly!

"Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things." ~Author Unknown

Live in the moment............unless you have a bug!

Lori

Icy Water....Brrrrrrrrr!

The plan was to hop in the car, head up to the lake and jump in the kayaks! Yeah, right. There's still ice on the lake! It was 65 degrees and there was STILL ICE ON THE LAKE! It looked like the Baltic Sea, loose ice-lets floating over about 1/2 the lake. All I could do was imagine my little (okay, medium sized!) butt sitting down in that kayake, down in that ice, UGH! We're standing out on the peak, doing a little "air test" because it was windy out. I have on a stocking cap, my big red sweatshirt with the hood up, my hiking boots.....I look like I'm READY for the Baltic Sea!! And it's 65 degrees! Suddenly......"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" came out of my mouth. "IT WOULDN'T BE FUUUUUUUN!!".After all, isn't that why we kayak? To have FUN? Not to be the first kayakers on the lake. Or to see just what our endurance level is! I KNOW mine!! It's ZERO!!! So we checked out our camper (which was fine) and drove down to the local Pub for greasy burgers, fries, and a cocktail.......mmmmmmm, now that was fun!

"Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending." ~Author Unknown

Lori S.--who could NEVER be a Baltic Sea fisherman!

"You look Good"

Everyday, somebody tells me I look good. So what does that mean, exactly? That I DIDN'T look good before? That I look good....considering? Don't get me wrong, when I see someone I know who was sick or perhaps going through something, I say the same thing. It's like the "standard" greeting. Perhaps it feels safer than saying "How are you?" Maybe you're not that well, or awaiting tests, or who-knows-what. I want to say, "I know....so ask me how I am." Cuz I'm FINE! I'm in remission!! It feels great! It IS great!

I'm wearing a new "Spring" wig. It's short and sassy. I LOVE it! I needed a change, I think. Some are asking if it's my real hair grown out. Ah, no....but that's always promising when they ask. Course I still prefer hairless. I wiz it off my head the minute I get in the house and on goes the baseball cap........

So, I'll post a picture of the new "do" as soon as I take one.

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." ~Milton Berle

Lori S.

My "Beauticians"

We had a grandgirlie weekend. They never cease to amaze us with their new ideas for fun! They're very creative. This weekend, it was baking muffins, riding their Barbie car, and doing acrobatics on the swingset. But Sunday morning, it was.......BEAUTY SHOP! They styled Johns hair 5 times. By the end, you could have speared a fish with his moussed hair! hahahaha Then it was my turn. Being hairless doesn't seem to discourage them at all. They washed and massaged my bald head. Hmmmmmmmm.....it felt great.

It was back to school today.......wore me out completely!! I'm used to being lazy, napping, staying up late (okay, so 10:30 is late for us), and sleeping in (hey, one day we made it to 8:30!). So it's a tantilizing tease til Summer Break.

Grandmothers are just "antique" little girls. -- Author Unknown

Smiling all the while....

Lori

Mississippi Eagles!

We're home from our trip. Oh boy, did we have a good time!!!! We spent most of our time in and around Dubuque because there was soooooooo much to do and see there. The first day alone, we saw 18 eagles!! They fly around like cardinals do here. We even saw a nest with an mama eagle sitting in there, popping her head up every couple of minutes. We went to a state park across the river from Cassville, WI, called Pikes Peak. It's a wonderful landing on the top of a high cliff that's perfect for eagle spotting!! That's where the picture was taken. It was truly awesome! It gives you a perfect bird's eye view of the Mississippi and Wisconsin Rivers joining together. We shopped, visited a museum, and ate lots of good food. We stayed our entire time at the Hilton Garden Inn in Dubuque. We'd drive to our destinations everyday, but always return to the Hilton. It was the best place I've ever stayed at, bar none, other then our own home. They treated us so wonderfully!! Delicious Food! Wonderful beds! Clean, cozy room! Every luxury you can put in a room, including HDTV!! And the most wonderful, friendly staff you'll ever find! Good grief, I sound like a commercial......

We came home to snow.......it's a blizzard outside! Enough already!!!! We're just going to snuggle in and enjoy 3 more relaxing days before I go back to school.

"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water." ~Carl Reiner

Live in the Moment!

Lori

Hitting the road...

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! I had a ball! I found all my eggs and baskets--I got a jump rope, plastic golf set, Silly Puddy, and lots of chocolate bunnies--dressed up in my Easter dress, hat and gloves..........oh, wait.....that was when I was 10......nevermind.

We're almost all packed for our little adventure. My new luggage is dark red! I think I'll get a bunch of stickers that say "France","Australia", "Iceland".......you know, to look like I've been arounnd the world. hahahaha We're heading for Dubuque first. I grew up there so it makes it extra fun. Here's hoping the eagles are still around and haven't headed back to their lakes for spring nesting.

To my family, remember all those Easter family pictures at Grandma and Grandpa's? You know, those totally posed, Easter hats and gloves, standing in the driveway (or front yard) pictures? Don't ya miss that? I do........

Live in the moment......and linger in the past once in a while.
Lori

Anticipation.......

Only 9 hours til the start of Spring Break! Could I be any more ready?! That's the voice of all who work in a school system. In Special Ed, it's a much needed and awaited respice. We're in the middle of the "piled-high-to-the-sky" paperwork that's involved with special ed. It's like trying to teach while juggling 3 balls and reciting the U.S. Constitution all at the same time. Truly exhausting!! So today at 1:45 will mark the start of 9 days of doing whatever I want, WHENEVER I want!! Yeeeeaaaaaa! We've set up a lose agenda for our trip to the Mississippi River. So guess what we have to go out and buy tonight? Luggage! Can you believe it? After 36 years of marriage, we don't have a set of luggage....you know, nice matching, many pieces, luggage......like adults have hahahaha. We've never been much for traveling, never going more than an hour away. But now we want to travel a bit and not look like the Beverly Hillbillies when we do it. hahaha I'll let you know what color I choose!

Lately, I've been thinking about different moments in my life. My short term memory sucks, but I can recollect a time when I was a kid like it was yesterday. Go figure. I remember a day in kindergarden.....it must have been before Christmas because I had a gift for my Mom. Remember those hand prints you made in school with clay? It was all painted up and wrapped in Christmas paper I painted myself. It was probably the first gift I'd ever made and given to my Mom. We were standing in line, waiting to be dismissed and in a second....everything changed. I dropped it......... I picked it up and it was now "loose" and wiggly. My teacher said it might still be okay (what was she supposed to say, I'm sure she wanted me out the door with the least resistance so she could start HER break...I know the feeling), so even though that didn't make sense to me, I thought maybe it could be true.....maybe it WAS okay. So I went home and put it under the tree, feeling it everyday....probably hoping it would heal somehow before Christmas. I cried when Mom opened it. One little moment in my life changed so much. That's what happened to me last summer, but now I've experienced enough "living" to know that even though there are no do-overs, as long as I'm breathing, I'll get other opportunities to create endearing moments.

They're predicting a blizzard for tonight............but I'm ignoring it.

It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. ~Charles Dickens

Live in the Moment!

Lori

It is.....what it is

I read an article yesterday in People magazine.....about Patrick Swayze. It was titled "His Brave Battle". But I know from experience, bravery has nothing to do with it. Fighting cancer isn't like fighting a dragon. It's fighting something that's growing inside us WITHOUT killing ourselves. That doesn't take bravery.....it takes an extreme will to live. I just want to keep living, and I'm sure he does too. It's like we belong to some secret club. I know exactly how he feels cuz I'm in it too. His prognosis for 1 year is the same as mine is for 5 years......I'm the lucky one. Who'd have thought I could say that last June....that I'm lucky. My perception has changed so much about things, it's amazing. His will too.

My fridge is full of green stuff. Remember? I'm working on those summer sizes. I feel like a rabbit. I treated myself to one small....almost microscopic, really.......cookie. I have a sweet tooth that's absolutely insatiable! I will resist! I WILL resist!!

John and I have systematically been cleaning out stash spots and cupboards this past week. Good Grief! Why I save things I save, I will never know! So we're boxing up stuff we haven't touched since we moved here and shipping it to a local auction house. We no longer have 2 barns to hoard stuff in so it might take us a while to get used to pitching.......or how about, NOT bringing it home in the first place!! Now, that's a thought.......

Happy Birthday, Sweet Sue!

It's smelling greener everyday out there, isn't it?!

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. ~Virgil A. Kraft

Live in the moment!
Lori

Warm Spring Sun!

Doesn't it just put a huge smile on your face the first time you walk outside and smell spring?! That's what I smelled today.....along with manure on the fields, old dog doo-doo from folks that don't clean up after their "friends", and other "fresh" scents that float in the March air. We went for our first walk on pavement out here, even crossed the little bridge to the Russian Church camp for kids. The little cabins are just sitting there waiting for the arrival of a fresh batch of little campers. The water over the creek was almost touching the top of the man-bridge. Lots of melting snow flowing everywhere!

I'm on a mission....to fit into my summer clothes by the start of the summer clothes season. It's going to be a real challenge this year. It seems it gets harder and harder the older I get! Lately, when I look in the mirror (cladly dressed....), I don't see my Mother........I see my Grandmother!!!! YEW!!!

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" ~Robin Williams

Live in the Moment!

Lori

Gi-mungously Fun Weekend!

Is the weekend over ALREADY!! Oooooooh, we had soooooooooo muuuuuuuuch fuuuuuun! We did all that we planned........ate lots of deeeelicous food......drank a little wine.......talked our heads off........laughed til we hurt (never once wet our pants, thank goodness hahaha)........did some touring............and just had a wonderful time! Suzanne and Deb made us so comfortable and welcome, complete with robes and slippers in our rooms! Thank you, cousins, for a perfect weekend!

We went to the most wonderful indoor greenhouses in Chicago. It gave us all a little feel of Spring. To smell that wonderful aroma of summer flowers and feel 80 degree air was just what we all needed.

One request, Deb and Suzanne, I would like to be appointed guardian of sweet Zonie, should the need ever arise. I LOVE that dog!!!! And we have a lot in common. She's absolutely devine!

Here it is Monday already....back to the routine.....with lots of little thought bubbles floating over my head of a wonderful weeekend.

"Friendship is like a prism through which the many variations of beauty are revealed in our lives." -- Anonymous

Live in the Moment.....though I'm lingering in the past weekend {big sigh....}
Lori

Hair

Last night, I came home from school and washed my hair (well, not really MY hair......THE hair. hahaha). I whipped it off, plopped it into a sink of soapy water, swooshed it around, blotted it in a towel, shook it over the tub, then slapped it on the little stand. Ta-Daaa! Done! In the morning, I'll spend about 2 minutes tossing it around with a little brush, slap it back on my head, and I'm good to go! And by the way, I only have to do this once a week!!! Do you know how much time we waste on hair? All it took me was about 5 minutes total. When I had hair (and it was pretty short!), I spent at least 20 minutes a day messing with my hair--shampooing, conditioning, blow drying, and primping. I could have used all that time I accumulated to go to France, spent a summer at the South Pole, tour Africa! Now I put that time I save to good use.......I write this blog {....very big grin}

I'm planning my Chicago trip in my mind as I sit. I'm going to go to the store Friday night and pick up some good bread I found. Actually, it's not really a loaf of bread, it's more like breadlets....little pieces of bread dough put together in a circle, sprinkled with parmesan and olives (or dried tomatoes and basil!) and baked. It's a delicious carnival in your mouth!!! Of course, I was going to take it as a surprise......but now they'll read this and.......I never did well with surprises.....

Can you hear the birdies singing?? They're smelling spring (and each other!) and looking for love! The songs are lovely. I'm hoping our little oppossum can find someone.....he looks so lonely and sad out there in the morning. But then, maybe that's just how he LOOKS! hahaha

Time to get ready for work (and slap on my hair!)

Maybe if we all shut our eyes....WISH for Spring.....while crossing our fingers....all at the same time.......it will come! Let's give it a try, huh?

“I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting system through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.” George Washington Carver

Live in the moment!
Lori

Weekend too short......

I'm thinkin' Spring.......That's me, golfing (course my ball is in the sandpit!).

Who ever invented weekends made them way too short. It's hard to cram in everything you want to do into 2 lowly days. We did everything on my little list (including some detail cleaning) so I guess it was long enough. Like I always say, leave while your still having fun. Maybe it's time to change that to "don't leave til you've sat around a while being totally bored....." Did you hear that, Connie? New philosophy.

I'm getting my sea legs back slowly. I find if I move around a bit, it helps. I don't care how much I drag around now, as long as I'm walking tall come spring. And actually, I think spring is trying hard to break through the snow. It was almost 45 degrees here yesterday and it's raining right now! YES! Of course, you need spikes in your shoes to manipulate around the ice.

John's been car hunting all weekend. He's finally going to trade in the big ole' white van he drives for something more........attractive and useful for our needs now that we're "old". He keeps jumping from stationwagon to minivan. Wonder where he'll light. I'm letting him do this one on his own. I hate car shopping!

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is." -- Albert Einstein

Living in the moment (but wishing it was next Saturday!)

Lori

3 cheers for Friday!

Finally, it's Friday! We have our weekend all to ourselves. I love weekends......big breakfasts, a little shopping, naps, usually involves pizza........we do weekends well.

We're going out for dinner tonight. We're going out with my Cousin Sue and her husband to Cannova's in Freeport. I haven't been there since it was a pizza place back in the 60's. Now it's a nice Italian Restaurant (even has a piano!). Can't wait!

And it's finally on the books! Chicago! Chicago! We're going to Chicago! More cousin bonding with Deb and Suzanne on the weekend of March 8th and 9th. Nothing is standing in way of this trip....not sickness, not fatigue, not a mac truck! Start listening for those air mattresses inflating Friday night. hahahahaha

So there. All is back on track (well, school's been kinda crazy but that's almost normal....), there's a big smile back on my face, and....."I feel gooooood....lalalalalala.....like I knew that I would now...lalalalalala....soooooooo good.....lalalalalala......like I new that I would now......" you get the drift.

"I'm so optimistic I'd go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me."-- Zig Ziglar

Lori

SNOW DAY! SNOW DAY!

I couldn't have asked for a better boost to my psychy than a good ole' snow day! I was up at 5:00 this morning to watch the local news to see my school ticker-taped across the bottom. YES! The 7 inches of snow we got last night is gorgeous (though it's starting to get a little boring...) We went for a long walk in our neighborhood and it was so refreshing. It really did wonders for my fatigue problem.

So, I think I have to stop using the excuse that food just tastes so gooooood! At this point, if I put a swim suit on (and I certainly plan to in a few short months!), I will look like a big fat wood tick....you know, big round body, little arms and legs sticking out. UGH! So for lunch, I had a salad.....now if I could just keep this up all week, I'll be doing better than all my attempts since the first of the year. I know, I know.....just eat health. Do you know how lame that sounds when I'm munching a stack of cheese and crackers?!

Life is Good!

Lori--who's still picking up Barbie stuff sprinkled here and there.

.....dreamin' bigger than real life

That's our Katie cooking!

Like Christmas and Birthdays, sometimes your anticipation of something turns out to be the best part of it. That was my weekend. I’m still having lots of fatigue... improving, but still there. Due to extenuating circumstances, it ended up a long weekend with just our granddaughters. I’m afraid 2 overnights with the girls isn’t even something I would entertain when I was well enough! Hahahaha We tried to cut it down to one overnight, but they had already been promised 2 nights at Grammas so I put on my “big-girl” pants and grinned (that comes naturally around them!) and bear-ed it (I just layed down a lot and let them give me bear hugs!).

We’re up to our eyeballs in Barbie stuff everywhere, did more dishes than we do in a whole week (lots of girl cooking and baking), and a ton of food in the fridge (thank goodness for freezers!).

Sometimes the fatigue sets me up for little depression waves, but I’m riding this one out--only cried once boo-hoo –picked myself up by my slippers and got myself dressed (by 10:00—hey, it’s still morning, right?!) When John returns from dropping off the girls, I think it might be Eagle watching time. Fresh air does wonders for the soul and it’s sunny and in the 30’s outside!

" There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. "– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Lori -- who's 1 day closer to Spring!

My Busy Calender.....take a number please

What's with my loaded calender?! It's starting to look like my sister's.........not that that's a bad thing ;) , just so unlike me. I want to "live in the moment" , "live life to the fullest" (you're hearing violins now...) but my moments are getting all backed up and spewing into 2 months from now. I want to go to Chicago with my Sister and stay with our cousins there, stay overnight! Eat out! Visit a museum! Eat out! Go to the Shedd Aquarium! Cook in their kitchen while drinking wine! Well, you get the picture. All still images in my brain til we come up with a date. We'll do it if it's the last thing we do! Did I mention? We've been trying to do this for 2 years! At least! But this time, it's gonna happen! Don't worry, girls...we'll all be together soon!


School has been busy. But today is Friday! Movie Day...and we're baking cookies and making ice cream sandwiches with them to eat while we watch. I will come home from school to a house full of family. The whole bunch will be here for the weekend. My fridge is stuffed with food (easy food so it looks like I've worked but I haven't). So if you drive by and hear a lot of noise coming out of our place, it's only us....laughing, having fun, and enjoying our weekend together!


I'm still floating on my news this week. I'm looking so forward to this spring and summer and will be stuffing more things into those moments then will actually fit! My calender runneth over!

"The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." -- Alan Chalmers

Live in the Moment.....or a couple moments at the same time!
Lori

I'm still speechless.....

I decided to change the name of my blog. I want to focus on good stuff! I'm still floating around on an enormous high and struggling to get my feet back on the floor! hahahaha What a wonderful thing to struggle with.

Thanks to all who have emailed me with cheers and promising wishes. You don't know how comforting that is to me!

My son and his wife are coming for a visit this weekend, along with my grandkids, I'm sure we'll get some celebrating in!!

This is short, and not very witty, but I'm still breathing out............


“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature….Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Helen Keller

Live in the Moment!
Lori

WONDERFUL SCAN DAY!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, my gosh! I'm floating on air! I had my CT scan today. We went out for lunch afterwards, and when I got home, I checked my email. My Dr. had emailed me to let me know the scan was good! She's so compassionate and knew I'd be home worrying until tomorrow's appointment. I've said before, I live my life from scan to scan, but that's okay! I'm livin' my life, that's the important part!! So 3 cheers for me! Thanks for all the prayers from family and friends (now everybody stop worrying, okay? ;)

Here's to a wonderful spring!

“Bad things are not the worst that can happen to us. NOTHING is the worst that can happen to us.” Richard Bach

Lori

Shopping Spree! (...shopped til I almost dropped)

Okay, so I'm still just a bit fatigued. Didn't stop me for shopping for spring clothes, but sure slowed the process down a bit. Had to sit down and rest in the dressing room, but no worry, I was glad to oblige. Had fun and got some cute stuff.

Now, the reason I went shopping in the first place--NOTHING FITS ME!!!! I'm sick of pouring myself into pants that don't fit. I get home from school and can't peel them off fast enough!! I've gained back all my weight since chemo :-( Food tastes soooooooo good! After going 5 months with no appetite, I think now even dirt would be delicious! Isn't that sick? But I'm not going to dwell on my weight or worry about it. At this point, "Food tastes better than thin looks! hahaha

I keep telling everyone, I'm not worrying about my scan tomorrow........lie. It keeps popping in my head about every 15 minutes. But nothing like it did the last time I had a scan. It was constant for a week before my test. That's when I got the news I was in remission--NED! I'm dreaming of hearing those words again on Tuesday. Music to my ears!

“I wanted a perfect ending.. Now, I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” Gilda Radner

Live in the Moment!
Lori S.

Valentine's Day.....continued

We had a delightful day at school....lots of candy hearts, cookies with sprinkles, all kinds of gooooood stuff. Our class really enjoys Valentines Day. I work in Special Ed and through their eyes, everything is good. What a perspective!
My sweetie topped off the holiday (can I call it that?) with a wonderful "singing" card (it sang ...."Sugar Pie, Honey Bun......You know that I Loooove you....I can't help myself.....I love you and nobody else!") and a box of Chocolat.....Raspberry Truffles, no less. We ate pizza, gazed into each others eyes...okay, just looked at each other......and had a memorable night. Ain't love grand?

"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake.” Marie Beyon Ray

I truly enjoyed the moment!
Okay, enough said.......
Lori

Happy Valentines Day!

"Love is in the air.....blah..hlah...blah.....blaaaah..blaaaah "

I love this day! One year I knit a long cap with hearts all over it. Never wore it, it looked too geeky. But it was sure fun to make. Now, every year I wear my kissing fish pin, encircled in a pink and red heart. Just as geeky, but cute, none the less.

Tonight, we're going out to eat at a favorite restaurant that serves very thin crust pizza cut into little tiny squares that we just LOVE! I'll report on my V-day gift tomorrow. John always keeps it interesting!

Everyone, kiss the one you love today....with depth and meaning!!

Lori ...{who's floating around the room overhead in my pink underwear, little wings strapped on my back, blowing kisses, and sprinkling heart shaped confetti and cookie sprinkles on everyone I love!}

Finally climbing out.......I think.....

“No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying….” Unknown author

John's "3rd day of Valentines Day" gift--a wonderful little strawberry swirl cheesecake with a can of cherries (to put on top if I wish), and whipped cream to top it all off. Oh, I love this man!!



Today is the first day, since radiation, that I've come home and NOT been asleep in my recliner within a half hour.....no lie! I get through my days at school, but dream of my recliner all day. I've been pretty foggy-brained too. But not today (well, maybe a little....). Today, I was alert (well, kind of...), energetic (okay, I could walk without swaying......), and I could actually hold a train of thought for longer than 10 seconds ( well, at least 5....). I'm coming back! I'm coming back!

It's snowing like crazy! Yeah, we really need more snow. We're feeding about 1,000 birds....I swear! They're not liking this weather. John shovels them big areas under the feeders so they don't sink in the snow trying to eat the seed scraps that drop out of the feeder. I bet they're wishing they migrated.......

Life is Good!

Lori

Here's to a brand new week!

My granddaughter Katie once got one of those "lightning bolts" that kids often do. She jumped up and said, "Gramma! If we didn't have a spine, we would all walk like this." She bent over, arms dangling down, and started walking. I laughed til I almost ****** my pants! I have to say, that's how I've felt the last few days. No spine....wanna walk bent over.....actually, don't wanna walk at all! It's fatigue from the radiation and driving me nuts. I'm done with treatments, but those darn side effects aren't gonna let go without a fight! I slept away my whole weekend; but I will say, at 0 degrees outside, there wasn't much else to do. So I guess it was a great weekend for sleeping :-)

My husband does the 12 days of Christmas at every gift giving holiday. He's already shopped for me for Valentine's Day and it's just killing him to hold the gifts til Thursday! So I already received one over the weekend......Coffee! Delicious coffeehouse, robust, can-smell-it-through-the-bag coffee! 3 bags! 3 different kinds! And the best part, he doesn't even like coffeehouse coffee...he's a straight-up Folgers guy. So he's willing to drink MY coffee every morning til I use up all three bags. Now that's love.........

......."And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Abraham Lincoln

Live in the moment!
Lori

Lazy Lori Spends Saturday Sleeping........zzzzzzzzz

Good grief! I woke up, didn't dress til 10, then napping (in my bed, no less!) at 1:30! I love Saturdays for just that reason. We can do anything I want(geeeez, I'm so spoiled)--shop, eat out, watch movies, NAP, whatever! Remember when you were a kid? Saturday mornings and cartoons! I don't care for cartoons anymore, but I still love Saturdays.

The picture is of my 2 favorite guys--my husband and my son. My gosh! They look soooo much alike. We went down to Arkansas to visit our son during Christmas break and had a wonderful time! My son has a little guest house, so we had our own little place, complete with a kitchen and 2 TV's! He lives on a lake, so we went out on the boat, did some sightseeing, ate delicious food, played wii (what a hoot!). It was so refreshing not to wear a winter coat and boots! Hopefully, I gave him enough hugs and kisses to last til we see him again! We planned our next visit the whole way home.

I plan on spending Sunday just like I spent today.......zzzzzzzzzz

Live in the moment!

Lori

...And now a word about my sponsors.....

The Dictionary says “Sponsor-- somebody responsible for another: somebody who becomes responsible for somebody else….”

During my diagnosis, I was a 1000 piece puzzle! I couldn’t even see remotely who I
was, what would become of me. A huge puzzle with no picture! I gave up before I even started…..literally! I was blessed (oh, it goes waaaaay beyond that!) with the most loving, supportive, even entertaining support team in the world. There are no words……………..(and speechless for me rarely happens!)

First,(and this is the hardest one to write!) Dr. Pipp and her wonderful staff--she spoke to me gently, held my hand, and (singlehandedly) helped me steer my ship in a different direction. She and her staff made a horrific time in my life quite bearable. They hugged me, cried with me, and gave my husband coffee and support. I no longer fear the future...I know that she will be right there by my side. My humble thank-you....

My husband John….I don’t know where to start. He carried me (at times, literally) through the most difficult time of my life. Oddly, we always thought it would be the other way around…..he is older than me, I was always healthier, all kinds of shallow, empty reasons. I have always felt that life is a big fat learning lesson, if you’re not learning something or being challenged, then it’s time to go home (Heaven, I hope!). I also ALWAYS said, I’d rather have financial problems than health problems. Ironically, that’s exactly how it started……for the first time (probably in our lives), money was not even an issue anymore. We had plenty (still do). So, on to part 2—Health and Wellness. And the “eenie-meenie-miney-moe” picked me. Rats! I cannot begin to tell all that he's done for me, my beautiful Big Boy. He’s attended every single Dr.’s appointment, every treatment, even slept in my room at the hospital. He’s fed me, kept me warm, scratched my back, rubbed my head, feet, and legs, brought me pills, kept everyone updated on my conditionand took over all my jobs, along with his, here at home…….the list is truly endless. He always says I would do the same for him…..I can only hope I would be this supportive. I love you, honey.

My son Eric.....You live far away but your almost daily phone calls were something I looked so forward to. Just hearing your voice and staying in touch made it feel like you were just down the street. I love you, Beaner.

My Sister Connie……Oh, Pinky, you’ll never know. Everytime I’m with you now, I want to get all sappy and gushy and tell you how grateful I am that God blessed me with you! (I’m truly sorry for that time I hid you under the bed….I was only 7 and had no idea how important you’d be in my life! …winking). I hold back, because I would only cry, then you would cry, and then we’d look so silly in the restaurant, Aunt Dee’s, or some other public place. Always know, the hand holding, presents, phone calls, presents, hugs, cards, presents were appreciated beyond words. I love you, Sweet Sister.

My Cousin Sue…..my one woman pep squad! Your lunch visits, soups, cookies, calls, emails, prayers, gifts, and cards were soooooooo greatly appreciated! You’ve been my Cousin Susie/best friend since we were 2 and you’re always there for me. Thank you soooooo much! I love you, Shweetie.

There are so many more…….relatives, church members, friends, and many strangers….friends of friends….that I never met sending their support, putting me on prayer chains. I received cards EVERYDAY, sometimes several in one day, all sending prayers and encouragement. A humble “Thank You” from deep in my heart……..

“Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

Live in the moment!
Lori

We will now return me to my regularly scheduled life.......

Three cheers for me! I've finished my PCI (brain radiation) and for the first time since last June, done with all my cancer stuff....except for those dreaded 3 month CT scans. I make it a point not to regress or relive all that. Once was enough. But I know that if I have recurrence, I'll do it all again if it'll give me the chance to add more time to my stay on the planet!

I can remember when I was first diagnosed with small cell lung cancer, it was totally devastating! I was scared out of my mind! I wondered if I could ever get back into my life. I hear it again and again on my support groups, cancer survivors I know, and anytime anybody is newly diagnosed with this disease. Slowly..........steadily.........my life has come back, in some ways, better than it was. I now have a new appreciation for living, new definitions of happiness, and a new realization of what really matters. My chemo ended in October/2007 and I was lucky to be able to go back to work the first of November. Everyone said it was too soon. Maybe it was, but I knew sitting home would make me "think I was sick". Work was a wonderful distraction. I laughed and intermingled with coworkers and students. I realized that I didn't know anymore about my time on earth now than I did before I was diagnosed. I now live life to the fullest, enjoying every day as a wonderful gift, not dwelling on the past, and not planning so infatically on the future. I've heard of a lot of people not living past the first two years. But I've heard of others living years and years. I've decided I want to be one of the them! I hope this sends promise to all those feeling fear from their diagnosis. Over the hill is your life, waiting for you to rejoin it! -- “Breathe in, breathe out, move on..." *Jimmy Buffett Live in the Moment! Lori S.

P.S.--12" of snow headed right at us! School's closed!!! I'm sitting here playing on the net, drinking a delicious mug of coffee in my jammies, pretending I'm in a cabin deeeep in the woods of Alaska! Life is good......

"Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the music!

My LAST radiation treatment today! {jumping up and down and bobbing my hairless head!} I've got some side effects, but I find if I ignore them, I can pretend I've just had a couple of drinks. {winking} I'm truly hairless, except for a little swatch of heartshaped hair on the back of my head.....now that's attractive.

With a half a foot of snow on the ground and another 7"-10" predicted by tomorrow, I'm focusing on spring, my kayak, and my cozy camping trailer up in Wisconsin. It's probably all buried in snow now, but soon......I'll be there, making up for last summer!! Last summer, I was chemo-ing, and didn't have time to have fun. The summer of 2008 is not getting away from me! The routine is so simple up there -- wake up, drink coffee on the deck, take a bike ride, eat lunch, hop in the kayak with binnoculars, watch the eagles, paddle around, come back to the camper, have a cocktail on the deck (my favorite part!), eat supper, then the grande finale--at dusk we drive up to the bat houses in the state park and watch them all wake up and fly out for the start of their day/night! It's truly awesome. Who knew I could love bats!!! They're darn cute, if you give them a chance.

"There is no reality......only perception!"

Lori {waving and blowing kisses}

My Little Life

That's me in the pink.....sporting my "better than my real hair" wig! Big Hug to whoever donated their lovely locks so I could look normal! I had to adjust to the "frizzy when it rains", as my real hair didn't do that! hahahaha

What a rollercoaster ride this has been! I was diagnosed in June of 2007 with small cell lung cancer/limited. After my scans in November, I was told I'm in remission. Here it is, January/2008 already. I made it through chemo/radiation with the usual side-effects but nothing I couldn't handle. My Dr. gave me 2 months off to regain strength (and enjoy Christmas) and I am now undergoing PCI treatments with 2 left. I've had some difficulty getting back into the "treatment" mode since starting. Not many side effects from the radiation, just some emotional mood swinging. I was able to go back to work after chemo and had actual moments of forgetting about the cancer! Now, with the start of the PCI, it's smack dab in my face again. I'm sure I'll get through this, just want to move forward, grow my hair back, and enjoy my wonderful life without that nasty black cloud over my head. I haven't cried since midway through chemo, but balled like a baby a few weeks ago after my 2nd treatment, feeling quite sorry for myself. Okay, time to pull myself up by my big-girl pants and deal with it! So now, I'm feeling pretty good. Plus, the Giants WON!!!YAHOO! Keep your chin up and live in the moment!

" Breathe in, breathe out, move on..." *Jimmy Buffett

Lori S. -- sitting in the middle of my beautiful little family: my husband, son, and 2 little granddaughters.