3 cheers for Friday!

Finally, it's Friday! We have our weekend all to ourselves. I love weekends......big breakfasts, a little shopping, naps, usually involves pizza........we do weekends well.

We're going out for dinner tonight. We're going out with my Cousin Sue and her husband to Cannova's in Freeport. I haven't been there since it was a pizza place back in the 60's. Now it's a nice Italian Restaurant (even has a piano!). Can't wait!

And it's finally on the books! Chicago! Chicago! We're going to Chicago! More cousin bonding with Deb and Suzanne on the weekend of March 8th and 9th. Nothing is standing in way of this trip....not sickness, not fatigue, not a mac truck! Start listening for those air mattresses inflating Friday night. hahahahaha

So there. All is back on track (well, school's been kinda crazy but that's almost normal....), there's a big smile back on my face, and....."I feel gooooood....lalalalalala.....like I knew that I would now...lalalalalala....soooooooo good.....lalalalalala......like I new that I would now......" you get the drift.

"I'm so optimistic I'd go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me."-- Zig Ziglar

Lori

SNOW DAY! SNOW DAY!

I couldn't have asked for a better boost to my psychy than a good ole' snow day! I was up at 5:00 this morning to watch the local news to see my school ticker-taped across the bottom. YES! The 7 inches of snow we got last night is gorgeous (though it's starting to get a little boring...) We went for a long walk in our neighborhood and it was so refreshing. It really did wonders for my fatigue problem.

So, I think I have to stop using the excuse that food just tastes so gooooood! At this point, if I put a swim suit on (and I certainly plan to in a few short months!), I will look like a big fat wood tick....you know, big round body, little arms and legs sticking out. UGH! So for lunch, I had a salad.....now if I could just keep this up all week, I'll be doing better than all my attempts since the first of the year. I know, I know.....just eat health. Do you know how lame that sounds when I'm munching a stack of cheese and crackers?!

Life is Good!

Lori--who's still picking up Barbie stuff sprinkled here and there.

.....dreamin' bigger than real life

That's our Katie cooking!

Like Christmas and Birthdays, sometimes your anticipation of something turns out to be the best part of it. That was my weekend. I’m still having lots of fatigue... improving, but still there. Due to extenuating circumstances, it ended up a long weekend with just our granddaughters. I’m afraid 2 overnights with the girls isn’t even something I would entertain when I was well enough! Hahahaha We tried to cut it down to one overnight, but they had already been promised 2 nights at Grammas so I put on my “big-girl” pants and grinned (that comes naturally around them!) and bear-ed it (I just layed down a lot and let them give me bear hugs!).

We’re up to our eyeballs in Barbie stuff everywhere, did more dishes than we do in a whole week (lots of girl cooking and baking), and a ton of food in the fridge (thank goodness for freezers!).

Sometimes the fatigue sets me up for little depression waves, but I’m riding this one out--only cried once boo-hoo –picked myself up by my slippers and got myself dressed (by 10:00—hey, it’s still morning, right?!) When John returns from dropping off the girls, I think it might be Eagle watching time. Fresh air does wonders for the soul and it’s sunny and in the 30’s outside!

" There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. "– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Lori -- who's 1 day closer to Spring!

My Busy Calender.....take a number please

What's with my loaded calender?! It's starting to look like my sister's.........not that that's a bad thing ;) , just so unlike me. I want to "live in the moment" , "live life to the fullest" (you're hearing violins now...) but my moments are getting all backed up and spewing into 2 months from now. I want to go to Chicago with my Sister and stay with our cousins there, stay overnight! Eat out! Visit a museum! Eat out! Go to the Shedd Aquarium! Cook in their kitchen while drinking wine! Well, you get the picture. All still images in my brain til we come up with a date. We'll do it if it's the last thing we do! Did I mention? We've been trying to do this for 2 years! At least! But this time, it's gonna happen! Don't worry, girls...we'll all be together soon!


School has been busy. But today is Friday! Movie Day...and we're baking cookies and making ice cream sandwiches with them to eat while we watch. I will come home from school to a house full of family. The whole bunch will be here for the weekend. My fridge is stuffed with food (easy food so it looks like I've worked but I haven't). So if you drive by and hear a lot of noise coming out of our place, it's only us....laughing, having fun, and enjoying our weekend together!


I'm still floating on my news this week. I'm looking so forward to this spring and summer and will be stuffing more things into those moments then will actually fit! My calender runneth over!

"The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." -- Alan Chalmers

Live in the Moment.....or a couple moments at the same time!
Lori

I'm still speechless.....

I decided to change the name of my blog. I want to focus on good stuff! I'm still floating around on an enormous high and struggling to get my feet back on the floor! hahahaha What a wonderful thing to struggle with.

Thanks to all who have emailed me with cheers and promising wishes. You don't know how comforting that is to me!

My son and his wife are coming for a visit this weekend, along with my grandkids, I'm sure we'll get some celebrating in!!

This is short, and not very witty, but I'm still breathing out............


“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature….Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Helen Keller

Live in the Moment!
Lori

WONDERFUL SCAN DAY!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, my gosh! I'm floating on air! I had my CT scan today. We went out for lunch afterwards, and when I got home, I checked my email. My Dr. had emailed me to let me know the scan was good! She's so compassionate and knew I'd be home worrying until tomorrow's appointment. I've said before, I live my life from scan to scan, but that's okay! I'm livin' my life, that's the important part!! So 3 cheers for me! Thanks for all the prayers from family and friends (now everybody stop worrying, okay? ;)

Here's to a wonderful spring!

“Bad things are not the worst that can happen to us. NOTHING is the worst that can happen to us.” Richard Bach

Lori

Shopping Spree! (...shopped til I almost dropped)

Okay, so I'm still just a bit fatigued. Didn't stop me for shopping for spring clothes, but sure slowed the process down a bit. Had to sit down and rest in the dressing room, but no worry, I was glad to oblige. Had fun and got some cute stuff.

Now, the reason I went shopping in the first place--NOTHING FITS ME!!!! I'm sick of pouring myself into pants that don't fit. I get home from school and can't peel them off fast enough!! I've gained back all my weight since chemo :-( Food tastes soooooooo good! After going 5 months with no appetite, I think now even dirt would be delicious! Isn't that sick? But I'm not going to dwell on my weight or worry about it. At this point, "Food tastes better than thin looks! hahaha

I keep telling everyone, I'm not worrying about my scan tomorrow........lie. It keeps popping in my head about every 15 minutes. But nothing like it did the last time I had a scan. It was constant for a week before my test. That's when I got the news I was in remission--NED! I'm dreaming of hearing those words again on Tuesday. Music to my ears!

“I wanted a perfect ending.. Now, I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” Gilda Radner

Live in the Moment!
Lori S.

Valentine's Day.....continued

We had a delightful day at school....lots of candy hearts, cookies with sprinkles, all kinds of gooooood stuff. Our class really enjoys Valentines Day. I work in Special Ed and through their eyes, everything is good. What a perspective!
My sweetie topped off the holiday (can I call it that?) with a wonderful "singing" card (it sang ...."Sugar Pie, Honey Bun......You know that I Loooove you....I can't help myself.....I love you and nobody else!") and a box of Chocolat.....Raspberry Truffles, no less. We ate pizza, gazed into each others eyes...okay, just looked at each other......and had a memorable night. Ain't love grand?

"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake.” Marie Beyon Ray

I truly enjoyed the moment!
Okay, enough said.......
Lori

Happy Valentines Day!

"Love is in the air.....blah..hlah...blah.....blaaaah..blaaaah "

I love this day! One year I knit a long cap with hearts all over it. Never wore it, it looked too geeky. But it was sure fun to make. Now, every year I wear my kissing fish pin, encircled in a pink and red heart. Just as geeky, but cute, none the less.

Tonight, we're going out to eat at a favorite restaurant that serves very thin crust pizza cut into little tiny squares that we just LOVE! I'll report on my V-day gift tomorrow. John always keeps it interesting!

Everyone, kiss the one you love today....with depth and meaning!!

Lori ...{who's floating around the room overhead in my pink underwear, little wings strapped on my back, blowing kisses, and sprinkling heart shaped confetti and cookie sprinkles on everyone I love!}

Finally climbing out.......I think.....

“No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying….” Unknown author

John's "3rd day of Valentines Day" gift--a wonderful little strawberry swirl cheesecake with a can of cherries (to put on top if I wish), and whipped cream to top it all off. Oh, I love this man!!



Today is the first day, since radiation, that I've come home and NOT been asleep in my recliner within a half hour.....no lie! I get through my days at school, but dream of my recliner all day. I've been pretty foggy-brained too. But not today (well, maybe a little....). Today, I was alert (well, kind of...), energetic (okay, I could walk without swaying......), and I could actually hold a train of thought for longer than 10 seconds ( well, at least 5....). I'm coming back! I'm coming back!

It's snowing like crazy! Yeah, we really need more snow. We're feeding about 1,000 birds....I swear! They're not liking this weather. John shovels them big areas under the feeders so they don't sink in the snow trying to eat the seed scraps that drop out of the feeder. I bet they're wishing they migrated.......

Life is Good!

Lori

Here's to a brand new week!

My granddaughter Katie once got one of those "lightning bolts" that kids often do. She jumped up and said, "Gramma! If we didn't have a spine, we would all walk like this." She bent over, arms dangling down, and started walking. I laughed til I almost ****** my pants! I have to say, that's how I've felt the last few days. No spine....wanna walk bent over.....actually, don't wanna walk at all! It's fatigue from the radiation and driving me nuts. I'm done with treatments, but those darn side effects aren't gonna let go without a fight! I slept away my whole weekend; but I will say, at 0 degrees outside, there wasn't much else to do. So I guess it was a great weekend for sleeping :-)

My husband does the 12 days of Christmas at every gift giving holiday. He's already shopped for me for Valentine's Day and it's just killing him to hold the gifts til Thursday! So I already received one over the weekend......Coffee! Delicious coffeehouse, robust, can-smell-it-through-the-bag coffee! 3 bags! 3 different kinds! And the best part, he doesn't even like coffeehouse coffee...he's a straight-up Folgers guy. So he's willing to drink MY coffee every morning til I use up all three bags. Now that's love.........

......."And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Abraham Lincoln

Live in the moment!
Lori

Lazy Lori Spends Saturday Sleeping........zzzzzzzzz

Good grief! I woke up, didn't dress til 10, then napping (in my bed, no less!) at 1:30! I love Saturdays for just that reason. We can do anything I want(geeeez, I'm so spoiled)--shop, eat out, watch movies, NAP, whatever! Remember when you were a kid? Saturday mornings and cartoons! I don't care for cartoons anymore, but I still love Saturdays.

The picture is of my 2 favorite guys--my husband and my son. My gosh! They look soooo much alike. We went down to Arkansas to visit our son during Christmas break and had a wonderful time! My son has a little guest house, so we had our own little place, complete with a kitchen and 2 TV's! He lives on a lake, so we went out on the boat, did some sightseeing, ate delicious food, played wii (what a hoot!). It was so refreshing not to wear a winter coat and boots! Hopefully, I gave him enough hugs and kisses to last til we see him again! We planned our next visit the whole way home.

I plan on spending Sunday just like I spent today.......zzzzzzzzzz

Live in the moment!

Lori

...And now a word about my sponsors.....

The Dictionary says “Sponsor-- somebody responsible for another: somebody who becomes responsible for somebody else….”

During my diagnosis, I was a 1000 piece puzzle! I couldn’t even see remotely who I
was, what would become of me. A huge puzzle with no picture! I gave up before I even started…..literally! I was blessed (oh, it goes waaaaay beyond that!) with the most loving, supportive, even entertaining support team in the world. There are no words……………..(and speechless for me rarely happens!)

First,(and this is the hardest one to write!) Dr. Pipp and her wonderful staff--she spoke to me gently, held my hand, and (singlehandedly) helped me steer my ship in a different direction. She and her staff made a horrific time in my life quite bearable. They hugged me, cried with me, and gave my husband coffee and support. I no longer fear the future...I know that she will be right there by my side. My humble thank-you....

My husband John….I don’t know where to start. He carried me (at times, literally) through the most difficult time of my life. Oddly, we always thought it would be the other way around…..he is older than me, I was always healthier, all kinds of shallow, empty reasons. I have always felt that life is a big fat learning lesson, if you’re not learning something or being challenged, then it’s time to go home (Heaven, I hope!). I also ALWAYS said, I’d rather have financial problems than health problems. Ironically, that’s exactly how it started……for the first time (probably in our lives), money was not even an issue anymore. We had plenty (still do). So, on to part 2—Health and Wellness. And the “eenie-meenie-miney-moe” picked me. Rats! I cannot begin to tell all that he's done for me, my beautiful Big Boy. He’s attended every single Dr.’s appointment, every treatment, even slept in my room at the hospital. He’s fed me, kept me warm, scratched my back, rubbed my head, feet, and legs, brought me pills, kept everyone updated on my conditionand took over all my jobs, along with his, here at home…….the list is truly endless. He always says I would do the same for him…..I can only hope I would be this supportive. I love you, honey.

My son Eric.....You live far away but your almost daily phone calls were something I looked so forward to. Just hearing your voice and staying in touch made it feel like you were just down the street. I love you, Beaner.

My Sister Connie……Oh, Pinky, you’ll never know. Everytime I’m with you now, I want to get all sappy and gushy and tell you how grateful I am that God blessed me with you! (I’m truly sorry for that time I hid you under the bed….I was only 7 and had no idea how important you’d be in my life! …winking). I hold back, because I would only cry, then you would cry, and then we’d look so silly in the restaurant, Aunt Dee’s, or some other public place. Always know, the hand holding, presents, phone calls, presents, hugs, cards, presents were appreciated beyond words. I love you, Sweet Sister.

My Cousin Sue…..my one woman pep squad! Your lunch visits, soups, cookies, calls, emails, prayers, gifts, and cards were soooooooo greatly appreciated! You’ve been my Cousin Susie/best friend since we were 2 and you’re always there for me. Thank you soooooo much! I love you, Shweetie.

There are so many more…….relatives, church members, friends, and many strangers….friends of friends….that I never met sending their support, putting me on prayer chains. I received cards EVERYDAY, sometimes several in one day, all sending prayers and encouragement. A humble “Thank You” from deep in my heart……..

“Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

Live in the moment!
Lori

We will now return me to my regularly scheduled life.......

Three cheers for me! I've finished my PCI (brain radiation) and for the first time since last June, done with all my cancer stuff....except for those dreaded 3 month CT scans. I make it a point not to regress or relive all that. Once was enough. But I know that if I have recurrence, I'll do it all again if it'll give me the chance to add more time to my stay on the planet!

I can remember when I was first diagnosed with small cell lung cancer, it was totally devastating! I was scared out of my mind! I wondered if I could ever get back into my life. I hear it again and again on my support groups, cancer survivors I know, and anytime anybody is newly diagnosed with this disease. Slowly..........steadily.........my life has come back, in some ways, better than it was. I now have a new appreciation for living, new definitions of happiness, and a new realization of what really matters. My chemo ended in October/2007 and I was lucky to be able to go back to work the first of November. Everyone said it was too soon. Maybe it was, but I knew sitting home would make me "think I was sick". Work was a wonderful distraction. I laughed and intermingled with coworkers and students. I realized that I didn't know anymore about my time on earth now than I did before I was diagnosed. I now live life to the fullest, enjoying every day as a wonderful gift, not dwelling on the past, and not planning so infatically on the future. I've heard of a lot of people not living past the first two years. But I've heard of others living years and years. I've decided I want to be one of the them! I hope this sends promise to all those feeling fear from their diagnosis. Over the hill is your life, waiting for you to rejoin it! -- “Breathe in, breathe out, move on..." *Jimmy Buffett Live in the Moment! Lori S.

P.S.--12" of snow headed right at us! School's closed!!! I'm sitting here playing on the net, drinking a delicious mug of coffee in my jammies, pretending I'm in a cabin deeeep in the woods of Alaska! Life is good......

"Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the music!

My LAST radiation treatment today! {jumping up and down and bobbing my hairless head!} I've got some side effects, but I find if I ignore them, I can pretend I've just had a couple of drinks. {winking} I'm truly hairless, except for a little swatch of heartshaped hair on the back of my head.....now that's attractive.

With a half a foot of snow on the ground and another 7"-10" predicted by tomorrow, I'm focusing on spring, my kayak, and my cozy camping trailer up in Wisconsin. It's probably all buried in snow now, but soon......I'll be there, making up for last summer!! Last summer, I was chemo-ing, and didn't have time to have fun. The summer of 2008 is not getting away from me! The routine is so simple up there -- wake up, drink coffee on the deck, take a bike ride, eat lunch, hop in the kayak with binnoculars, watch the eagles, paddle around, come back to the camper, have a cocktail on the deck (my favorite part!), eat supper, then the grande finale--at dusk we drive up to the bat houses in the state park and watch them all wake up and fly out for the start of their day/night! It's truly awesome. Who knew I could love bats!!! They're darn cute, if you give them a chance.

"There is no reality......only perception!"

Lori {waving and blowing kisses}

My Little Life

That's me in the pink.....sporting my "better than my real hair" wig! Big Hug to whoever donated their lovely locks so I could look normal! I had to adjust to the "frizzy when it rains", as my real hair didn't do that! hahahaha

What a rollercoaster ride this has been! I was diagnosed in June of 2007 with small cell lung cancer/limited. After my scans in November, I was told I'm in remission. Here it is, January/2008 already. I made it through chemo/radiation with the usual side-effects but nothing I couldn't handle. My Dr. gave me 2 months off to regain strength (and enjoy Christmas) and I am now undergoing PCI treatments with 2 left. I've had some difficulty getting back into the "treatment" mode since starting. Not many side effects from the radiation, just some emotional mood swinging. I was able to go back to work after chemo and had actual moments of forgetting about the cancer! Now, with the start of the PCI, it's smack dab in my face again. I'm sure I'll get through this, just want to move forward, grow my hair back, and enjoy my wonderful life without that nasty black cloud over my head. I haven't cried since midway through chemo, but balled like a baby a few weeks ago after my 2nd treatment, feeling quite sorry for myself. Okay, time to pull myself up by my big-girl pants and deal with it! So now, I'm feeling pretty good. Plus, the Giants WON!!!YAHOO! Keep your chin up and live in the moment!

" Breathe in, breathe out, move on..." *Jimmy Buffett

Lori S. -- sitting in the middle of my beautiful little family: my husband, son, and 2 little granddaughters.